Psychology says people who can say "actually, you're right" in the middle of an argument hold a kind of security most people never build — their identity isn't riding on the position, so losing the point costs them nothing

Psychology says people who can say "actually, you're right" in the middle of an argument hold a kind of security most people never build — their identity isn't riding on the position, so losing the point costs them nothing

I was having a petty argument with a friend at book club about the novel we’d just finished. I was convinced the protagonist was as much an antagonist as a hero, someone whose choices created most of the damage in the story even though the narrative kept framing her as sympathetic. My friend was pushing back, pulling out scenes, building her case. And then she stopped, tilted her head, and said, Actually, you’re right. I didn’t know what to do w…